Norbus is the perfect kitty. Play as her conscience.
She finds a lost wallet at the bus stop.
What does she do?
[[pick up with intent to return it]]
[[take the cash and leave it there]]
[[commit identity theft]]Right!
Norbus has a reputation to uphold in the community.
She looks inside for ID to see if the owner is nearby.
Inside there are only 2 items in the wallet:
[[machine-cut metal business card->laser cut metal business card]]
[[large denomination bills]]
Hmm... No ID. This is an odd wallet.
You're wishing she took the cash, right? But you said she wouldn't. How could she reasonably change her mind now?
[[Because it's $1400!]]
[[She cannot, and as Norbus' conscience I will continue my commitment to attempt to return this wallet with ALL the cash intact->return 02]]WRONG!
Norbus is the perfect cat. She would NOT do that.
We'll give you another shot at this:
[[pick up with intent to return it]]
[[commit identity theft]] WRONG!
Norbus is the perfect kitty. She wouldn't do that.
[[pick up with intent to return it]]
[[take the cash and leave it there]] It's super light yet exceptionally strong. It might be titanium. There's a series of planet or moon-wedge shapes eclipsing one another, each smooth design precisely cut from the metal. They sweep across the card in an arc. There's also the following numbers and letters:
arsch frisst hose
[[Return->pick up with intent to return it]] Holy shit! There's 14 crisp green one-hundred-Euro bills inside here! Not to mention now that you look at it, the wallet is made of pretty finely crafted, soft brown Italian leather. The wallet says 'Toscanella'.
[[Return->pick up with intent to return it]] Well it is a lot of money. That's like half a month's rent in Vancouver for a basement apartment.
I think Norbus the perfect kitty understands that perfection includes making compromises. So maybe one of these bills will go to the Children's Hospital while the rest can probably get Norbus a really nice outfit for People's Prom.
[[WAIT! No. Norbus will resolve to return this wallet.->return 02]]You continue to act an inspiration of virtue.
You are not sure what to make of the large amount of cash and the mysterious metal card.
[[Have Norbus look around to see if anyone has noticed her with wallet]]
[[Head to the public library]]There is nobody paying any attention to her, which is strange since she's a cat alone in the middle of a busy downtown transit exchange.
[[Take wallet to Library->Head to the public library]]Norbus can really get around with no limbs. It's really impressive. She tosses the wallet onto her back and heads 3 blocks East to the central branch of the Vancouver Public Library.
[[Look for a librarian->Librarian]]
[[Look for an internet terminal->Computer Lab]]Norbus finds an friendly looking staff person, but despite two librarian's best intentions, neither can understand what this cat with a doily and wallet on her back is fussing about.
[[Look for a computer station->Computer Lab]] There are plenty of computers. But they're all locked down with login screens. Norbus doesn't have a library card or a passcode!
Except -- there's a woman who is passed out in front of the keyboard with her headphones on.
Norbus slips onto the table beside her and [[sidles up to the keyboard->Terminal]], careful not to wake the woman.
Two promising options come up for people in town who do this kind of work:
Arvin Design Inc on Georgia St [[Let's visit them!]]
Maker Labs' Laser Cutter Cafe on Cordova [[Let's visit these guys]]
[[Back to internet search->Terminal]]
Great question! Norbus remembers Ask Jeeves, and is kinda surprised the library has it on the search page.
Norbus types in the question...
Jeeves is working on it.
Jeeves serves up the following:
"It appears people still wants their technology to act like Jeeves the butler, who excels at pretending the human 'master' is in control while really managing their every move and not letting the human think for themselves."
[[Back->Terminal]] The results are: 'German for 'Ass eats pants.'
A scan of the rest of the page seems to indicate this is the German term for the English term 'wedgie.'
[[Back->Terminal]] Jeez, who even uses Bing? Why am I when google's one click away?
The Bing results are pretty inconclusive.
[[Back->Terminal]] Hmmm... The results don't look promising.
Some of these look like they keep mentioning Zurich.
Could it be that this is part of a location ID?
What about that other number? Is it part of the location?
[[Search "47.371970, 8.538120"->Coordinates]]The google image search is inconclusive, there's some designs that are vaguely similar, but nothing like this slick design, with the arcing same swoop of the sequential moon phases.
[[Back->Terminal]] There is a brown leather wallet with 'Toscanella' on it
There are 14 crisp 100-Euro bills
There is a metal business card with symbols, numbers, and letters finely cut into it:
arsch frisst hose
a weird arcing moon-phase logoNorbus enters Arvin Design, an industrial design studio in Downtown Vancouver. Seemingly every surface that could have holes machined into it are
A man approches:
"Hello, how may I help you today?"
[["I want to return your wallet"->Give him wallet]]
[["I am curious if you made this business card?"->Ask if he made card]]
[[Pass him business card. "Can you tell me what you know of this machine work?"->Pass him card]]Norbus walks the downtown Eastside to the corner of E Cordova and Hawks streets.
There she meets the woman at the front counter who seems a little annoyed to have to be dealing with a cat toward the end of the woyrkday. It's also possible Norbus misread the situation so she gives the front desk person the benefit of the doubt.
[["May I talk to someone in the Laser Cutting Lab?"]]
[["Could this lab be responsible for this card?"]]
[["Never mind."]]It's the work of a fine Florentine leather clothing design company called Pierotucci. A wallet like this costs nearly $200.
[[Back->Terminal]] Nothing much relevant comes up.
[[Combine this with another search term]]The character who placed the wallets around Canada did so to lure perfect people to Zurich for a secret meeting in an attempt to overthrow Donald Trump.
The idea was find the finest, nicest upstanding-est citizens who would cross the globe on a little information in an attempt to return a lost wallet.
It turns out it was a bad idea. Too many people were either too dumb, too greedy, too indifferent, too uncurious, or too busy to follow through on coming all the way to Europe to return a wallet.
But clearly Norbus had a kind of pathologically perserverent niceness and that was exactly the personality they wanted in someone to infiltrate the White House and commit MURDER!!!
Well, okay I'm sure there were less expensive and more effective ways to recruit the right candidate for this mission, however, Norbus was the person they had.
Can a 'Perfect Kitty' like Norbus actually do the unthinkable and ASSASSINATE AN AMERICAN PRESIDENT?A Google map pops up in the search results.
There's a pin dropped right in the middle of downtown Zurich, Switzerland.
The corresponding geographic coordinates are: 47°22'19.1"N 8°32'17.2"E
This looks like a pretty good lead!
[[Back to search->Computer Lab]]
[[Let's buy some tickets to Zurich!->Plane tix]]You buy immediate one-way ticket from Vancouver to Zurich leaving tonight. It may cost over $2000, which seems ridiculous. But hey, someone has to get their wallet back right?"Oh, thanks! Yeah what a relief."
"No problem, that's why Norbus is here, to do the good deeds."
Norbus walks out, satisfied that the world is a better place and not full of people who will falsely agree to accepting an expensive wallet full of tons of cash that she blindly assumed was someone's when it really wasn't.
THE END"May I examine the card?" He asks.
Norbus passes it over.
The shopkeeper looks at it closely.
"My goodness, that's magnificent. This is a level of detailed machinework that you might from an aerospace manufacturer. Our machines are accurate, but not THIS accurate. There's always several levels of acceptable surface finish in industrial design, but this is an unreasonable level of detail for... what, a business card? Where did you get this?"
[["It doesn't matter, really."]]
[["I found it in an abandoned wallet."]]
[["I have to go."]]"It's really finely machined for something that looks like a business card. It's no work of ours."
"Do you know what it's made of?"
"Looks like a titanium alloy of some kind. I'm more of a steel and aluminum guy, as well as wood. Nothing like that comes from us."
[["Can you make anything of the letters and numbers on here?"]]
[["OK, that's fine, sorry to bother you."]]
[["Any idea what kind of operation would make something like this?"]]More Norbus Adventure coming - check back soon..More Norbus Adventure coming - check back soon..More Norbus Adventure coming - check back soon.."The laser guys are in tomorrow." She mimes some 'pew pew' laser guns with her fingers. She seems to be mocking the laser people.
[["OK, I'll come back tomorrow."]]
[["No way that you've seen someone here making this?"]]
[["Who runs it? It's kinda urgent I was hoping I could give them a call."]]The woman doesn't even glance at the card.
"You think I keep tabs on every little trinket our hundred-plus members make here?"
She catches her snark, and says. "Listen, the Laser Cutter Lab is not open today. The guys who do that sorta stuff aren't here right now."You leave the Maker Lab wondering why you bothered coming here.
[[Back to library->Computer Lab]]"Heh heh. I know a little German. It definitely says "Wedgie" on here."
[["Heh. Yeah. Funny. OK, gonna get going."]]More Norbus Adventure coming - check back soon..More Norbus Adventure coming - check back soon.."Nothing. Looks like someone went to a lot of trouble with expensive equipment to meticulously carve out some gibberish."You leave the store.
[[I think I should go back to the computer lab.]]Lucky you, after over an hour away, the same woman is still logged in and tuned out at her computer terminal.
[[Sidle up to the computer again->Computer Lab]] Norbus recalls [[the clues]]
[[Google search: "laser cut metal business cards vancouver"]]
[[Bing search: "9972"]]
[[Google image search: "weird moon phases logo"]]
[[Ask Jeeves: "How is 'Ask Jeeves' still a thing?"]]
[[Google translate: "arsch frisst hose"]]
[[Google search: "47.371970"]]
[[Google search: "toscanella wallet brand"]]
[[Google search: "8.538120"]]You search Google for "8.538120" and:
[["9972"->9972 and 8.538120]]
[["47.371970"->Coordinates]]More Norbus Adventure coming - check back soon..More Norbus Adventure coming - check back soon..More Norbus Adventure coming - check back soon..More Norbus Adventure coming - check back soon..